marriage
Other People’s Priorities Don’t Have to Be Your Priorities
Kelly writes in:
In the past three months, I’ve paid off all but $2,000 of my credit card debt. I feel happier about my money than I have in a long time. The only problem is that my social life seems to be falling apart. I don’t have as much interest in the things my friends are spending their money and time on and I find myself doing other things a lot. What do you suggest?
Bear with me for a second as I go down a bit of a strange road.
I’ll admit it. I’m not a good housekeeper, and neither is my wife.
Yes, we keep our house reasonably clean and we make an extra effort to clean when guests come over, but on a day to day basis, housework is lower on our priority list than it seems to be for many other people that we know. Quite often, we do minimal cleanup during the week and wait until Saturday for a real housecleaning – and, even then, we don’t scrub the walls or things like that on a regular basis.
Our priorities are simply different. There’s no wrong or right about it. Some people value housecleaning more than we do. A few of our closest friends spend literally hours each day on housecleaning because keeping their house sparkling is a very high priority for them.
So what’s a high priority for us? Time with our kids and with each other. Learning new things. Finding ways to have fun without spending a mint.
If we were to simply follow the lead of some of the people in our social circle, we would probably spend more than we do. One of my closest friends is becoming a small-scale land baron. Another one buys lots of Leroy Nieman serigraphs and, on occasion, original art. Yet another close friend really, really values his three automobiles.
Our money goes towards financial stability, because that’s what we value.
Placing that value highly, even if it’s not in line with what our friends seem to value, hasn’t damaged our deepest, most important friendships. You don’t have to value exactly what others value – you just have to respect it.
Instead, our friendships are usually based on the things we do have in common. Almost all of our friends really enjoy hosting and attending evenings full of board games, usually with a potluck meal. Even though there’s a variety of political perspectives, we all value political discussions that don’t turn into insults, so we often discuss politics together in a setting that would often result in arguments and fights. We all value reading and learning new things. None of us, at this point, is in a bad financial state, as we all have our debts under control.
For all of the things we do differently, we have those key things in common. You don’t have to do what your friends do, and you don’t have to value all of the same things that your friends value.
If you value living frugally, that’s fine. You don’t have to spend like your friends do. Instead, find ways to accentuate the things you do have in common. What do you both value? That’s the basis of a strong friendship.
Kelly, it seems to me that you’ve adopted stronger financial practices as a significant value in your life, and that’s great. It’ll help you to stay afloat no matter what the river of life sends your way.
The question is what else there is in your life. What other things do you value? How do you spend your spare time? What do you think about? There’s a good chance that these things still overlap with your friends – and if they do, seek ways to spend time with them that match up with those values.
You might find that your values actually are pretty far away from some of them and that your friendship was really only based on one value, one that you’ve moved away from as you’ve grown as a person. That’s fine – I discovered that myself when I started re-evaluating my life. If that happens, it simply means that it’s time to start socializing in ways that will help you meet people that match up well with your current values.
I firmly believe that if you surround yourself with people who mostly value different things than you do, you will be unhappy. I also firmly believe that if you seek out groups of people with which you share at least some values, you’re likely to build great relationships and friendships. Even better, if you can seek out multiple groups in this way – a group that matches one value you hold dear and another group that matches another value you hold dear – you’ll not only build friendships and relationships, but you’ll be able to make some powerful connections, too.
Good luck!
The Simple Dollar Time Machine: March 13, 2010
Many newer readers of The Simple Dollar haven’t been exposed to the hundreds of great articles in the archives of the site, so this is a weekly series that highlights the five best posts from one year ago this week, two years ago this week, and three years ago this week. I call it … the Time Machine.
One Year Ago (March 7 – March 13, 2009)
A Guide to Making Inexpensive and Delicious Homemade Pizza Our homemade pizza makes several meals for our family for a dollar a pop or less. Not only that, it’s delicious and fairly healthy, too.
Frugality and Feeling Deprived Frugality doesn’t have to feel like deprivation at all if you spend some time reflection on what exactly bounty means in your life.
The Frugal Laptop This worked great for about ten months until a separate hardware issue cropped up with the laptop. I’d still advise anyone to try this, though.
A Step-by-Step Guide to Getting Your Credit Card Interest Rates Reduced This tactic works well, but be aware that many credit card companies might also reduce your credit limit at the same time, particularly if you’ve had a history of being late on your bills.
My Worst Job – And What It Taught Me Those simple, menial tasks that you hate are often the perfect opportunity to show the world that you’re a great worker.
Two Years Ago (March 7 – March 13, 2008)
How I Turned That Ship Around: Another Look At My Financial Meltdown … And The Aftermath When things were at their absolute worst for me financially, here’s the game plan that I followed.
The Financial Recovery Toolkit: Ten Tools I Used In My Financial Turnaround Hand in hand with the above article, here are ten tools I used to make that turnaround possible.
Chipping Away at the Paycheck to Paycheck Routine One big challenge that people have is breaking away from the idea that you have to spend what you earn. Financial security comes from freedom from your work and this is the first step.
The Credit Card Holy Wars: There Is No “Right” Answer … But Here’s My Take Should you have a credit card? Shouldn’t you? I think there are reasonable arguments on both sides of the coin.
Ten Ways to Translate Your Passion Into Additional Income If you’re passionate about something, you already have a leg up over a lot of people in that area. People pay for passion.
Three Years Ago (March 7 – March 13, 2007)
Are Your Friends Always Spending Money? Ten Frugal Activities – And Advice On How To Suggest Them When you begin to turn your financial life around, it’s often a struggle to overcome the social barriers. Here are some tips for making it work.
Why Johnny Can Read: Simpson’s Paradox and the Greatly Exaggerated Death of American Public Education The reason for writing this was an ongoing debate with readers about public versus private school. Is private school worth the dollars?
How To Transition From Car Loans To Paying Cash For Automobiles Paying cash for automobiles is a huge money saver because you’re not paying the interest on the car loans. Here’s how to get there.
Love, Marriage, and Money: Should a Couple Combine Their Finances? This isn’t always a straightforward issue, and it’s not just a trust issue either (which is what people often try to break it down to).
Nine Financial Reasons For Getting Involved In Your Local Community Community involvement can really help out your financial life, directly and indirectly. Here’s how.
If you’d like to browse through more of the archives, visit the chronology, where all posts are listed in chronological order.
Nine Ways to Get More out of The Simple Dollar
This is kind of a FAQ for new readers and is posted each week along with the Time Machine. Here are nine great ways for new readers to dig deeper into The Simple Dollar.
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2. Comment. Each article on The Simple Dollar has lively discussion. Just click on the green square in the upper right of each article on the website and join in!
3. Read my story of financial meltdown and recovery. The Simple Dollar isn’t based on what I’ve read in books or learned in school. I’ve made a lifetime of financial mistakes – The Simple Dollar is a record of what works for me during the process of getting my life on a better track.
4. Download my free 49 page e-book. Everything You Ever Really Needed to Know About Personal Finance On Just One Page is completely free. It summarizes all of the key lessons I’ve learned along the way about personal finance in one tidy package – in fact, all of the main principles can be found right on the cover.
5. Follow me on Twitter – or other social networks. I post tons of interesting articles, quotes, follow-up material, commentary, and other material on Twitter. Follow me! If you’re unfamiliar with Twitter, it’s essentially an open discussion forum for people to share ideas and thoughts with other like-minded folks – you just choose the people you want to listen to and their ideas and thoughts are all delivered to you on a single page.
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6. Dig through “31 Days to Fix Your Finances.” 31 Days to Fix Your Finances is an article series that outlines how you can get a grip on your finances over the course of a month.
7. Send me your questions and suggestions. Send me an email and let me know what you’re thinking, what you’d like to see, and any questions you might have. I try to respond to as many emails as possible and I read them all. I may even use your question in a future article!
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The Simple Dollar Time Machine: March 13, 2010
By Request: Five More Essential Crock Pot Recipes
A long time ago, after posting several articles about using a crock pot to save money and still produce great, quick meals, readers asked me to post ten of my favorite crock pot recipes. Since digging through my recipes and typing them out again in an comprehensible format takes a while, I started by posting five of them.
And I never got around to posting the other five. Today, I’m completing that post.
So, after you’ve perused the art of the slow cooker and five of my favorite recipes, here are five more for you to try. I have no idea where these originally came from, but each was experimented on and modified more than a few times and seem to only exist on my own handwritten cards.
One big tip! If you’re going to leave these on for more than eight hours, add an extra half a cup of water before you go. The biggest danger for cooking things in a crock pot longer than that is having the food dry out.
Let’s go!
Chicken Chili (our current favorite crock pot recipe)
1 1/4 lbs boneless skinless chicken breasts
2 15 oz. cans great northern beans or navy beans (I prefer to soak dry beans myself)
12 oz. frozen sweet corn kernels
1 4 1/2 oz. can chopped green chiles (or you can chop your own)
3 tbsp. chili powder
16 oz. chicken stock or chicken broth
8 oz. half and half (you can use skim milk if you want it healthier)
1/2 tsp. corn starch (if you want it thicker)
1/2 cup sour cream
1/2 cup chopped onion (optional)
Dice the chicken into 1″ cubes and put them in a slow cooker. Add the beans and corn and optional onions. In a bowl, mix the chili powder, the peppers, the half and half, and the chicken broth or stock (and the starch, if you want it thicker). Stir until well-mixed, then add to the chicken. Cover and cook for 8-10 hours on low. Just before serving, stir in sour cream until consistent.
Wild Rice Turkey
1 1/2 cups wild rice
2 cups finely chopped onion
1/4 cup golden raisins
2 apples, chopped
3 cups chicken broth or chicken stock
1 1/4 tsp. thyme
1 tsp. salt
1/4 tsp. marjoram
3/4 tsp. sage
1/2 tsp. pepper
whole turkey brest (4 lbs. or so)
Mix rice, onion, raisins, apples, thyme, salt, pepper, sage, and marjoram until consistent. Put thsi mixture on the bottom of the pot. Cover with chicken broth/stock and make sure all of the rice is covered with at least a quarter of an inch of liquid – if not, supplement with some water or additional stock. Place whole turkey breast (thawed, of course) on top. Cook on low for eight hours and be sure to check the temperature of the turkey before you remove it (it should be 160 degrees F or roughly 75 C).
Stuffed Zucchini
1 medium zucchini or squash, halved lengthwise, with seeds removed
1 cup tomato sauce
1 tbsp. red wine vinegar
1 onion, chopped
1 tsp. minced or powdered garlic
1/4 cup brown rice (uncooked)
1 tbsp. parsley
1 tbsp. basil
1/8 tsp. black pepper
Mozzarella cheese (optional)
Put the zucchini halves in the bottom of the crockpot. Mix the tomato sauce and vinegar together in a small bowl – a cereal bowl works. In another bowl, combine the onions, garlic, rice, parsley, basil, and pepper and mix thoroughly. Add two tablespoons of the tomato-red wine mix to the onion mix and stir thoroughly. Put the onion mix on the zucchini halves, then pour the rest of the tomato-red wine mix on top. Cook on low for 6 hours.
Three Bean Stew
1 cup dried lima beans
1 cup dried great Northern beans
1 cup dried chickpeas / Garbanzo beans
4 cups water
16 oz. carrots (baby or sliced full carrots)
1 1/2 cups chopped onion
2 1/2 cups or 1 14 oz. can diced tomatoes
2 tbsp. tomato paste
3 garlic cloves, minced
1 tbsp. parsley
1 tsp. basil
1/2 tsp. thyme
1/2 tsp. salt
1/8 tsp. pepper
1 bay leaf
Soak the beans together overnight in water by putting the beans in a pan, then adding water until there’s an inch of water on top of the beans. Drain the beans and place in crock pot. Add the water, carrots, oinion, garlic, parsley, basil, thyme, pepper, and the bay leaf to the crock pot. Cook on low for eight to ten hours. Add the tomatoes, the paste, and salt and cook for another hour on low. Remove bay leaf and serve.
Barbecued Ribs (it doesn’t beat slow-cooked on a grill, but it’s very good!)
4 lbs. baby back ribs, lightly peppered and salted
2 cups catsup
1 cup finely diced tomatoes
1/2 cup finely chopped onion
1/8 tsp. cloves
1/4 cup vinegar
2 tbsp. pepper
1/2 cup packed brown sugar
2 tsp. oregano
2 tsp. Worcestershire sauce
hot sauce to taste
Rub the ribs down with salt and pepper. Put them in a shallow baking pan and bake them in the oven for 15 minutes at 400 F / 200 C. Turn the ribs over and brown for another 15 minutes in the oven. While it’s browning, mix the other ingredients in a bowl. Take the ribs from the oven, place in a slow cooker, pour the sauce over the ribs, and flip the ribs around to coat them. Cover and cook on low for eight hours. Delicious!
Good luck!
See original here:
By Request: Five More Essential Crock Pot Recipes
An Argument for Secondhand Store Clothes, Even If You Must Dress Nicely
Monica writes in:
I don’t understand how you can recommend that people shop in thrift stores for clothes. The stuff there is usually worn out and just looks bad and outdated. I would never wear that stuff to work.
It sounds to me like you’ve made up your mind about thrift stores and secondhand stores before even stepping inside the door. I’ll make the case anyway.
First of all, I won’t buy the vast majority of clothing on sale at such a store. I’m with Monica on this one – most of the stuff there can be pretty worn out. I’ve seen lots of threadbare sweaters, worn out dress pants, and other items that, if they were in my home, would be meeting the rag bag.
Those aren’t the items I’m shopping for. The reason I go is to look through a long rack of clothes and find two or three items that are barely worn. How do quality items of clothing get to the secondhand store? A person gains or loses a lot of weight. A person passes away. A person decides they just don’t like how the item looks on them. A person is a clotheshorse who only wears an item a couple of times before getting rid of it. Each of these cases can result in some very nice clothes on the rack at the secondhand shop.
If you don’t like the item, don’t buy it. However, there are a lot of gems buried on the racks if you’ll spend some time digging through them.
Second, my biggest focus for clothing buys – once they meet a minimum standard of quality – really is cost per use. Yes, unquestionably, I could go to a store like Men’s Wearhouse, find a high quality article of clothing, and wear it, say, sixty times over the course of several years. That article of clothing might cost me $60, so the cost per use would be $1 per use.
On the other hand, I might find a nice item at the secondhand store. It might have been worn a few times already, so I might only get fifteen wears out of it instead of the sixty I might get from the new shirt. However, that secondhand item only cost me $3. That’s $0.20 per use.
I will take the second item of clothing any day of the week.
What about the time cost? Time cost is one of the first things people mention when they hear a money-saving tactic that they’re unsure about. Human beings are creatures of habit and if we can find a good reason to retain that habit (or even a not-so-good reason), we’ll use it. Time cost is often that reason.
However, in this situation, time cost matters little. I go clothes shopping twice a year, period.
In the spring, I’ll dig out all of my summer clothes (in fact, I’m intending to do this this weekend), determine what needs to go and what can stay, and then figure out if I need to add some clothes to the mix or if I have enough. I do the same thing in the fall with my winter clothes.
Once that’s done, I actually make a shopping list for clothes. I need some number of dress shirts, some number of jeans, some number of shorts, some number of khakis, some number of underwear – you get the idea. Then, I go shopping.
If I use secondhand store clothes in this process, I still just rotate them out at season’s end if they’re too worn, the same thing I’ll do with clothes that are purchased new. I’ll still go clothes shopping twice a year, regardless of whether I’ve bought new or used clothes in the past.
What this comes down to is simple: spending control. I keep a pretty tight rein on my clothes shopping habits. I simply don’t go clothes shopping more than twice a year. Because of that, I don’t devote much time in a given calendar year to picking out new clothes – and I don’t spend nearly as much money, either.
At its heart, an awful lot of frugality and financial success comes down to control over your spending. If you have firm control over how your money leaves your wallet, it’s often shocking how many ways there are to cut your spending without cutting your quality of life one iota.
Here is the original post:
An Argument for Secondhand Store Clothes, Even If You Must Dress Nicely
Convenience Foods: What They Really Cost
Every time I visit the grocery store, I’m amazed to see how much of the fresh produce aisle is taken up with prepackaged fresh foods. You know what I’m talking about – bags of prewashed lettuce, pre-cut apples, pre-cut celery, pre-cut pineapple, and so on.
I understand why such items are for sale – they’re convenient. It’s easier to just grab a bag of prewashed romaine lettuce than it is to grab a head of romaine and deal with it when you get home.
Yet, when you look at the prices, you’re actually paying a significant markup. Two bags of Dole romaine lettuce at my local grocer costs about the same as a single head of romaine. The bags cost about $4.50 together, while the head costs about $1.60 (with some variance, of course, due to weight, sales, and so on). By buying the head, you save $2.90 – or, from a different perspective, you’re paying $2.90 for the convenience of someone else washing your lettuce.
Is that really worth it? I bought a head of romaine lettuce myself, put it in one of those handy bags that they provide, and took it home with me. Upon arriving home, I set a stopwatch for myself, then chopped the leaves off of the head of lettuce, rinsed them thoroughly, rinsed the bag a bit (leaving some moisture inside), then put the leaves back in the bag, tying it. I then tossed the knife in the dishwasher and stopped the stopwatch.
Total time? Three minutes. Actually, it was just a bit shy of that.
Let’s say over the course of the next year, I repeat the same action twenty times. I buy a head of romaine, put it in one of those bags from the store, take it home, chop it myself, and store it in that bag. Each time, I’m saving myself $2.90. Over the course of a year, I spend an hour chopping up the lettuce and save myself a total of $58.
The same holds true for all of those convenience foods.
Apple slices? I found apples I like at the store for $1.29 a pound, whereas pre-sliced apples added up to $4.76 a pound (I found four four-ounce bags of them for $1.19 each). I have a nice little apple slicer, so I’m able to slice up a few apples at dinnertime and completely clean up from it in about thirty seconds. My estimate on this is that buying un-cut apples saves me about $80 for every hour of apple-slicing I’m willing to do.
Celery sticks? I can buy a bag of celery for $1.49 or I can buy about three containers of pre-sliced sticks for $1.99 each. I spend about four minutes cutting the sticks and it saves me $3.47 – or about $52 over the course of a full hour.
I can go on and on with these items, but in each case the central idea is true: the convenience has a really, really high cost, much more than it might seem at first glance.
To me, this type of convenience food is a perfect example of how the little things really add up when it comes to personal finance. There are so many little conveniences that we pay for in life, whether it’s pre-sliced apples or take-out food or a lawn care service. When you actually step back and calculate the hourly rate that these things are costing you, it’s truly astounding. Yet people fill their lives with these conveniences and question those who skip out on them, then they wonder why it’s challenging to make ends meet.
Take a stand today. Slice your own vegetables. Then put that saved money aside for something for yourself.
See the original post:
Convenience Foods: What They Really Cost
Reader Mailbag: Time
The more of life I experience, the more I realize that the most valuable thing a person has in their life is time. The cost of a book is trivial compared to the value of the time spent reading it. The cost of raising a child in terms of dollars is far less than the value of the time spent rearing the children.
Time is the one thing I wish I had more of.
I just found out that I will be unemployed come mid-August and I am just wondering what steps I should start taking in savings and job hunting until then. I am currently an Americorps*VISTA, which means that I cannot start a second job until the completion of my term (again, August). I live very simply, but only make about $800/month take-home and have about $1400 in CC debt (started the year at $4000; I’ve been working to get rid of it) Your thoughts?
Related to that, my position generally only winds up taking about 25 hrs/week, while I’m required to ‘work’ (be in the office) for 40. How would you utilize those extra 15 hours?
- Tessa
The first thing I’d do is figure out what I would like to be doing with my time come August. What exactly is the next step for you? If you don’t know, start investing those fifteen extra hours a week (and more) to figuring out what comes next for you.
Once you know, then you should be able to fill in the blanks as to how to fill your time until the change happens. It might mean building up a resume. It might mean spending a lot of time firming up old connections and relationships. It might mean applying for college or for scholarships.
In short, you need to figure out what comes next, make a plan for how to get there, then spend the remaining time executing that plan as strongly as you can. The key, though, comes from you. What do you want to do next?
My husband is irresponsible with money. I knew when we got involved that he had a student loan and some credit card debt (about $5000 dollars combined), and that he felt no obligation to pay these off. He also hadn’t filed his taxes for several years. I probably should have listened to my gut then and run for the hills, but i didn’t, and I’m not looking for marriage advice here. Once we became seriously involved, I made sure his taxes were filed. The government garnished his refunds until the student loan was paid off, and we paid off the cc debt too with the understanding that he is unable to control his spending and should not have access to a cc in the future.
He still sent away card applications from time to time and was always rejected due to his poor history, but after paying off these loans, he sent away another application and was granted a card with a $10,000 limit. Within no time, he maxed out his card, once again with no concept of having to pay off the balance.
Our mortgage is in my name ($110,000 left) , my car is paid off, his car loan is in my name($9000, he does pay this), I carry no cc debt. We have an 18 month old. We both work. We do not have much money at the end of the month. He undermines my attempts to cut down our monthly expenses (ex, if I call to cut down our cable package, he calls and has it reinstated. Or, currently he has signed himself up with *three* different 36month term cell phone contracts!) I am working on building an emergency fund (it is still quite small at the moment, but growing)…Anyway, I could not bear the thought of his cc balance sitting there with a 20% interest rate, so I paid it off with my line of credit (5%), and have taken over making these payments. Once again, the condition was that he would absolutely not have access to a credit card.
Once again, he got another card, and now has a $2000 balance, and is not making payments. I am done bailing him out. I am just wondering how his bad credit is going to affect me if he doesn’t pay this off? Whether or not we stay together, what can I do to protect myself from his debt? Is there anyway a spouse at the end of her rope can call the credit card companies and get his cards cancelled or say “Stop issuing this man cards!” If we do split up at some point, am I going to be responsible for half of his debt?
- Michelle
The important question is to consider whose names the debts are in. If he’s applying for credit cards on his own, are they just in his name? If they are and you file for divorce, they will remain his debts and are not your concern. If they’re in both of your names, you need to get your name removed from as much of it as possible if you’re considering a separation.
That being said, I think some professional counseling is in order in this situation. Clearly, there are serious trust issues going on in your relationship and your husband has some significant self-control problems. These are the types of issues that need counseling – they will not go away due to your sheer force of will.
If you care for him at all, seek help for him and for your relationship. I can’t tell from your email whether you’re beyond that point or not.
After I finished school I went to work for an outdoor education center for nine months. I loved the job but, wasn’t happy with the management so I came back to my parent’s house and found a job there. It is in a similar field but most of the work is in an office. I originally planed to stay at this job for three or four years but now the program might lose its funding. This wouldn’t affect the funding to my job but it would nearly make it pointless. My supervisor encouraged me to be on the lookout for other jobs. I sent out several resumes to some outdoor education centers and have interviews soon.
Everything is going great except that my Dad hates the idea. The problem is they pay minimum wage or just above it. Very few of these places offer health benefits but they all offer room and board. I don’t have any debt so I really don’t see much of a problem with the low pay. I also think the quality of life, free house and food make up for it.
Do you think it would be foolish to go back to that type of work?
- Beth
Your father’s frustration is probably stemming from the fact that he does not see you heading down a path that leads you to financial independence. He wants to see you being at least successful enough to fly under your own power through adult life. If you take another minimum wage job and continue to live at home with your parents, you are shifting a significant portion of your life’s expenses off to your parents as well as intruding on the privacy of their adult lives. He likely sees your choice as not moving at all towards repairing that situation.
Regardless of what job you choose, you should be working on a plan to be independent and they should be in the loop about that plan. What form that takes is really up to you, your situation, your skill set, and your passions.
Recognize, though, that your parents are people, too. They’re providing for you now because they care deeply about you, but every time you drink from that well, you leave them less water.
We took up a mortgage of $200k, with $140k being fixed and $60k in what’s called a revolving credit account here in New Zealand. We thought the revolving credit facility would allow us more flexibility if we are disciplined enough with our spending.
This is how it works, the monthly repayment of the fixed mortgage are deducted from the revolving credit account. All our income will go into this account, and we can draw up to 60K from this account for our expenses. The idea here is that if we are able to keep the account in positive, we’ll not be paying any interest, but once we go negative, we will be charged interest for the credit.The 60K available in that account also serves as emergency funds for us. So far, we have managed to keep the balance at zero (i.e. no interest charges). We channel our surpluses into a saving account, and will be using them to pay off the fixed mortgage (in parts) when it’s due.
For all these, we are paying a service charge of $12.50 a month. To me, the revolving credit facility seems like another good alternative, what do you think?
- Art
It sounds an awful lot like a money merge account, something I wrote about in detail in the past.
In the United States, such accounts are generally pretty expensive and can ring you into the thousands of dollars. For that kind of cost, I don’t view such an account as being worth it unless you have little financial discipline. In your case, I think it actually might be worth it, though.
I’m not entirely sure, though, why you’re taking money out of the account and putting it into a savings account. I’m assuming that this is for extra payments on the mortgage, but if I understand the account correctly (based on my understanding of money merges and the documentation on revolving credit accounts in New Zealand), leaving the money in the account has the same effect of paying down your mortgage faster, plus it decreases the risk that you might go over your credit withdrawal limit. If that’s the case, I would put a severe cap on how much I transferred out of the account, only keeping enough to serve as a true emergency fund.
You don’t talk about Lost enough in your mailbags so I’m going to keep emailing you Lost questions until you answer one. So here goes. Who is the good guy of the series? Jacob or UnLocke?
- Kelly
Neither one is. I think you have a prison-like situation where the inmate (UnLocke) has been held in solitary confinement for a very, very long time. He’s like a rat in a cage. But does that mean the guard (Jacob) is a saint?
I still think there are two real heroes in this series: Jack and Locke. I still believe that to be the case. My belief is that Locke on the island will come back to life at the same time as Locke off the island walks again thanks to Jack’s spinal surgery, and Locke will eventually become the guardian of the island. Jack has been searching for something to fix for the entire series – he will get to fix Locke.
Or maybe I have no idea what I’m talking about and the series will end with a “Cop Rock”-esque singing montage.
My partner has about $8000 worth of credit card debt and I’ve been trying to help her figure out the best way to pay it off. We’re in the process of refinancing our mortgage (to 5.25%) and are wondering if it makes sense to wrap it into our mortgage, since she pays a higher interest rate on the credit card. She also make the monthly mortgage payment (I made the down payment, and am making the monthly payment on a second property we own, so she says it’ll still be her responsibility, as we’re keeping track of who put how much into each property). I’m skeptical, not wanting to add any more debt to our mortgage (and feeling that HER debt being added to OUR total will make keeping track messy), but can you clarify just how much this is or isn’t an okay thing to do?
- Heidi
Yes, in a strict sense, it makes sense to wrap that credit card debt into the mortgage.
The challenge comes in when you look at the self-control issues. If you guys have no credit card debt at all, will she have the spending control to resist simply charging those cards up again for purchases you don’t really need?
I’m not sure about your domestic arrangement, however. You seem to want to distinguish heavily between HER debt and YOUR debt. If this person is genuinely your partner, then that includes your finances. There is no HER debt or YOUR debt. There’s OUR debt – you deal with it together because the debt is affecting you both.
I just realized that paying extra every month decreased my minimum payment amount and not the length of the loan. (Mostly because I just started paying extra.)
My original car loan- $9,815.43 for 4 years (48 months). My original minimum payment was $252.36. I now pay $275.00 a month.
I’ve been trying to figure out how early my auto loan will be paid off if I add extra in every month. All of the loan calculators I’ve found online that calculate don’t seem to take into account that the minimum payment amount decreases every month while my payment does not. I keep paying my original amount that included the extra. Is there a formula to figure all this out?
- Susan
It’s simple: ignore the minimum payment. Instead, calculate what your payment should be right now. Tack a small amount on top of that. Pay that amount every month, regardless of what the bill says. Soon, your loan is gone.
If the minimum payment is getting smaller, it’s because the lender wants you to pay on the loan for a longer period in order to maximize the amount of interest they get from you. They don’t mind receiving smaller payments in the short term if it means more income in the long term. Thus, they’ll show you the minimum amount you’d need to pay to stick with your original payment schedule – and if you’ve overpaid in the past, that minimum amount will be nice and small.
Ignore it. Use Bankrate’s great loan calculator and figure out when you’ll get the debt paid off if you add in some extra to each payment.
My husband and I both have student loan debt of $10k each at around 3%, and a mortgage for $140 k at 6.75%. We have the option to refinance down to 5.1% but it would cost $3,000 into the principle. We’ve been paying the mortgage for 2 1/2 years, but have no plans to ever sell. The house is a rental property that we also live in, so the amount of mortgage, taxes, and fees and repairs we pay after the rents come in is only around $400/month, therefore allowing us both to save alot. We have no other debt.
I have personal cash savings of $15k, and we have a joint cash savings of $17k. My husband has cash savings of around $5k (we only mingle part of our finances for the purposes of paying the mortgage, which doesn’t work for everyone, but works for us.) We both work in stable jobs and make ~$40 k each, although I don’t want to work in the corporate life forever. We have so much in cash because we are looking to buy another rental property this year. (we will need about $25 k for this)
We both currently have 401ks, I have $12k in mine, and my husband has $16k. I’m 26 and he is 28. I am thinking about opening an IRA and to fund it for 2009 so I can get the tax reduction. I have no idea what funds to pick from the list at Vanguard. I’m pretty comfortable with risk because this money is for retirement, but I don’t have very much time to devote to looking at my investments all the time. My 401k is just in a mix of funds that were picked based on my time until retirement. I am thinking of putting in the full amount for myself, $5,000. It should take around 6 months before we finalize a property purchase and have to come up with the down payment, so I can build that cash in my account back up.
Or would it be better for me to open a Roth IRA, or put my money somewhere else, or even pay my student loan off?? I doubt we would pay the mortgage down because we use the expenses against the income we get from the rents. My personal cash savings is earning no interest in my checking account (i know, i know, but this is why I’m working on this.)
- Danielle
First of all, funding a Roth IRA won’t get you a tax reduction, at least not today. Roth IRAs are funded with after-tax money.
Second of all, if you’re six months away from buying a property with a $25K down payment and have only $32K in joint cash savings, it is probably prudent to hold onto the cash until you have the purchase in hand. You do not want to find yourself in a position without a cash emergency fund, because when things go wrong at an inopportune moment, they can seriously snowball.
If I were to do anything with the savings, I would take $3,000 of it and refinance the loan. If you can drop the interest rate on $140,000 by 1.65%, you’ll be saving yourself a couple hundred a month in loan payments, which would pay back that $3,000 in a year or so and then leave you in better financial shape for the length of the mortgage.
Other than that, I’d sit tight until you’ve bought the property. I don’t see any major reason to change anything, assuming that the property buy is a definite thing.
Read this in your March 5 post: “…when my contract expires, I’m going to simply cancel the phone and get a pay-by-the-minute el cheapo phone.” I’d be curious to know how you go about choosing a pay-by-the-minute cellphone plan when the time comes. My husband and I would like to switch to a prepaid option as well, but each company structures their charges so differently that it’s hard for me to decide which plan would be best for us.
- Lynn
This is one of those times when I turn to Consumer Reports. What do they recommend when it comes to such pay-by-the-minute plans?
Right now, looking it up wouldn’t really help as I won’t be doing it for at least a few months yet. When it gets close, I’ll visit my library and start digging through the back issues of CR to find their most recent article about such cell phones (likely, it’ll be found in their most recent cell phone roundup). I’ll move on from there.
My choice will probably be the best “bang for the buck” phone rather than the cheapest one, at least with the “bang” being call quality. It’s not worth my money if I can’t easily place calls with the phone at my convenience, after all.
I’ve just read a document on “travel hacking” that gives tips on how to maximize your frequent flyer miles for free tickets. One of the tips is to “cycle” credit card applications where you are applying for a new Citi card (to get the American Airlines miles) every 60-90 days. It’s legal, but I wonder what it will do to my credit score. If I don’t need to apply for any loans in the near future, does a decrease in my credit score (now 790 I think) really matter? Thanks for your help!
- Jill
This will have a mild negative effect on your credit rating. However, with a credit rating near 790, I don’t think the negative effect will be strong enough to affect anything you might use your credit rating for.
My concern with such rampant credit card hopping is identity theft. To get each of these cards, you have to apply for a new card, which is another opening you’re giving yourself to identity theft. The threat of theft on any one application or card you have is minute, but if you have lots of cards and applications floating around out there, the chance multiplies.
Unless I’m already flying a lot and can directly save a lot of money by doing this, I would not view it as being worth the combination of time and personal risk. If you fly several times a year already as a normal course of life, then the benefits might outweigh the costs here, but if you’re only doing this to try to build up miles in case you might choose to fly somewhere someday, then it’s not worth it.
Got any questions? Email them to me or leave them in the comments and I’ll attempt to answer them in a future mailbag. However, I do receive hundreds of questions per week, so I may not necessarily be able to answer yours.
Originally posted here:
Reader Mailbag: Time
Children and Excess
My two children are extremely blessed in many ways. Perhaps their greatest blessing is that they’ve surrounded by a family that loves them dearly and truly cares about their future in a deep, fundamental way – and I’m not merely talking about myself. I’m talking about their grandparents, their aunts and uncles, even some of their cousins. They are surrounded by a cadre of people who love them, care for them, and truly want them to have a wonderful life.
Because so many people care so much for these two children, they’re often the recipient of gifts. Yes, their birthdays and Christmases are full of presents, but it even goes beyond that. Their grandparents often buy them spontaneous gifts. Their cousins sometimes literally give them their old toys and clothes. We even do it ourselves, though our influence is often in the form of books for their bookshelves.
This has a challenging side effect – the kids have accumulated an awful lot of stuff. Their toy boxes are overfilled. Their bookshelves are stuffed with books.
Several problems are made evident by this. First, it’s difficult to keep all of this stuff in order, simply because of the clutter problem. Second, it encourages our children to be overstimulated because as soon as they even have an inkling of being less interested in a particular item, they can just bounce onto another one. Third, they’re often much less enthusiastic about the wonderful gifts that their grandparents give them because they already have so many.
The solution is obvious: reduce the toy count. But how do you do this without upsetting the children?
My goals are very straightforward.
First, I want to reduce clutter. Dealing with clutter means more money sunk into stuff and more time spent cleaning it up. That means less money for the things that are important (like a less stressful career, deeply meaningful experiences, and so on) and less time for them as well.
Second, I want my children to enjoy life with less stuff around them. I do not want them to feel that lots of stuff is the norm.
On a smaller note, I want my children to increase their attention span. With a huge number of toys easily at their disposal, it’s very easy for them to just jump from toy to toy. By strongly reducing the availability of such items, the opportunity to jump around is less.
Here’s my solution for this problem.
First, I’m taking an inventory of which toys they like and play with frequently – and which ones they do not. I’ve actually been making a list of the toys that each child plays with over a multi-week period. If toys are on this list, they’re probably going to be kept. Toys that are not on this list are going to be targeted for removal.
Second, I’ll talk about the process with them. I’m going to ask them what their favorite toys are. I’m going to also tell them that I’m going to take some of the toys that they never play with and give them to other boys and girls that don’t have many toys to play with. Believe it or not, this works very well with our children, even the two year old.
Third, I’ll take advantage of a period when they’re visiting grandparents to reorganize and minimize their toys. When they return from their grandparents, I will have removed many of the toys from their sight, minimizing the clutter. What will remain are the toys I’ve identified as their favorite ones. The toybox will be only about half full (if that) instead of overflowing. The bookshelves will be filtered a bit (though I’m not as interested in reducing their book count).
Finally, I’ll keep the excised toys in storage for a short period, then either yard sale many of them or take them to Goodwill. The reason I’ll keep them in (hidden) storage for a short period is so that if I discover that I removed a toy accidentally that the children really value, I can retrieve it.
One thing I won’t do is discourage family members from giving them gifts. I understand that this is done as an expression of love for children that they don’t get to see as often as they’d like. Instead, I simply want to create a situation where these toys and gifts are deeply appreciated.
For a long time, we did some toy rotations so that the children would always have something new to play with. In my eyes, that doesn’t really achieve the goals I listed above. We still have a lot of stuff. It still doesn’t subtly teach patience and attention to the children.
Any thoughts on this plan?
Read more here:
Children and Excess
The Simple Dollar Weekly Roundup: Single Weekend Edition
A weird sequence of events has caused me to find myself all alone over the coming weekend. My wife is visiting her sister, while my two children are visiting their grandparents. This leaves me with two full days without any real responsibilities.
Of course, me being me, I already have a long list of stuff to do – things that simply require some focused hours and are difficult to do when the family is around. Five years ago, I would have been headed to the golf course or to Prairie Meadows. Times change, I guess.
Lessons for you and me from Warren Buffett’s annual letter Warren Buffett’s annual letter to Berkshire Hathaway shareholders often has a lot of interesting personal finance thoughts in it that go far beyond mere investing. (@ pop economics)
The High Cost of Clutter Every time you buy something new and bring it home, you’re adding to the clutter of your home. It’s one more thing to stuff on a shelf. It’s one more thing to dust. It’s one more thing to maintain. It’s one more thing to take up space. Those are costs, both in terms of money and time. (@ get rich slowly)
6 Ways To Keep The Fire In You Burning This can be a challenge for anyone at times, no matter how much they love what they’re doing. (@ pick the brain)
My Valuable Downgrade “Upon completion of the final draft of my latest novel three years ago, I sent out an e-mail to my family and closest friends. Subject heading: “What Has Mark Been Doing for the Last Six Years?” The message field was empty.” Something about that opening really struck me. (@ soul shelter)
Save Money! Get a College Degree In Three Years If I had not been blessed enough to get scholarships to cover my tuition, room, and board, this is likely the college path I would have chosen. Whether I would have been successful at it is another story. (@ free money finance)
When Your Friends Become Social Sellers and Multi-Level Marketers Quite honestly, I view such a thing as directly cashing in on a friendship, far worse than asking me for a favor. I’d far rather spend an afternoon helping a friend patch up his roof than spend two hours at a Lia Sophia party. (@ consumerism commentary)
View original here:
The Simple Dollar Weekly Roundup: Single Weekend Edition
Philosophy & Religion, Bible Study Course Ebook
Here is the original:
Philosophy & Religion, Bible Study Course Ebook
Where Do You Want to Be In Five Years? How Do You Get There?
I’m going to share with you excerpts from seven different emails I’ve received from readers in the last few days.
Kenny:
I listened to your radio discussion with Vicki Robin and I was really intrigued by the whole five year plan. I have a big dream I’d love to accomplish (being a radio host) but I feel like it’s so far from my life that I’ll never get there. Any ideas?
Scott:
In five year[s] I would like to have built my own house but I don’t even know where to start.
Angela:
I would like to be a writer someday but I’m not a writer.
Monique:
You have the courage and ability to try such a thing. I do not. I might want to be making clothing in five years but I’ll still be working in this office.
Em:
All I ever wanted to do was play in the WNBA. Now I walk with a limp and people shy away from me. I would do anything to be back in the basketball world.
Raghu:
I keep telling myself I will move back to that town and really make a difference there but it is a lot easier to go home at night, take a nap, and watch a movie.
Sean:
Nothing makes me happier than playing the piano. Nothing makes me sadder, either, because I know nothing will ever come of it.
All of these people have a lot of things in common. They have a dream, one that they spend a lot of time thinking about. They’re nowhere near that dream in their day to day lives. They feel as though the gap between where they are now and where that dream is may simply be too much of a bridge for them to cross. So they’re walking in place through a life that has much less meaning for them than they would have ever liked.
I was there once, in a way. I know exactly how it feels to sense that everything you’ve dreamed about in your childhood and in your adult life slipping away from you. I know how hard it seems to fight for it when everything in your life seems to be flowing in a different direction. And I also know how good it feels when you find some success against the current and can feel yourself moving in the right direction towards that dream.
If you know what you truly, deeply want out of life, but you can’t see how you can get there from where you are now, here’s how to get started.
First, get your financial house in order. This is paramount. It is almost impossible to make powerful, positive life changes if you’re swimming in debt and your spending is out of control. Learn how to spend less than you earn. Pay down that debt as fast as you can. It seems difficult, but it actually works quite well in conjunction with the other tips here.
Second, re-engineer your free time and your social circle. If you really want to make this work, you’re going to have to make time for it in your life. For most of us, this probably means some significant changes. Maybe you give up your thrice-weekly raid night on World of Warcraft. Maybe you can cut your television viewing by an hour a day. Maybe you can withdraw fr some of your social commitments.
Once you’ve decided what to cut, it’s just as important to decide what to add to replace it. Obviously, it needs to be something in connection with your dream – but we’ll talk about exactly what to choose in a minute.
It’s important to remember that these choices are simple. They’re little choices you can make every day. “Instead of spending an hour channel surfing or watching SportsCenter, I’ll work on a short story.” “Instead of going out shopping with the gals, I’ll go to the workshop and work on a painting.” “Instead of playing computer games all night, I’ll get intimate with my piano.” They are choices that you make in the normal flow of your life.
Third, find ways to share what you love. If you love a sport, volunteer to coach a youth team. If you love to play a musical instrument, play a song, record it, and share it with others. If you love to write, start a blog. If you love politics, volunteer for a campaign.
If you want great things to happen, other people need to have access to what you’re doing. If you sit in your home playing the piano for your own enjoyment, you’ll never find a way to make a living with it. You have to get out there and find others. Remember, anything anyone does for a living involves relating to others. We all have customers.
Do not worry about compensation at first. Compensation will come once you’ve built a good reputation and used the experience you’re getting to develop yourself into something better.
Fourth, know how to deal with failure. It will not come easy. Success won’t fall on your lap. It takes time. It takes sustained effort. It takes an awful lot of “no” before you start getting “yes.”
If you take into account the entire scope of all of the writing I’ve done in my life, I am a monumental failure as a writer. Any success I’ve seen has come in the last couple of years. Virtually everything prior to that point was met with “no” and “no” and more “no.”
Why? I wasn’t a good writer – I had some good ideas, but I expressed them poorly. When I did find myself able to produce something good, I hadn’t produced enough goodness and hadn’t shared what good I had done widely enough to actually get anyone’s attention.
It would have been easy to quit. But I loved writing – and I still do. It was always something that made me feel better. It brought me personal pleasure just to write. I’d get a rejection letter in the mail and, yes, it would hurt. But that didn’t mean I would stop writing.
I love writing enough that I would keep writing even if no one read what I wrote. The fact that people do read it – and that I earn enough from it to put bread on the table for my family – is incredible icing on the cake.
If you feel that way about something – it makes you happy regardless of what other people think and whether it makes you any money or not – that’s something you need to dig into. Chase it. Master it. Share it. Then worry about the question of making money – if you’re good at it and share it, the answers will be closer than you think.
Good luck.
Here is the original post:
Where Do You Want to Be In Five Years? How Do You Get There?
Mortgage “Half” Payments: How Much Do They Save?
One frequent question I’m often asked is whether or not paying half of a mortgage payment twice a month versus paying a full mortgage payment once a month is actually worthwhile.
Let’s say, for example, you’re in the situation that Paul, one of my readers who wrote in recently, finds himself in. He just took out a $219,000 mortgage. His monthly payment on that mortgage is $1,300.89. Paul wants to know whether paying half of the mortgage twice a month will save him a significant amount.
The first thing he needs to do is make sure that his mortgage allows early payments – and how they work. Make a call to your lender and ask them how often interest is compounded (this needs to be daily or compounded monthly based on the average balance of the month – if it only compounds monthly, paying in advance won’t help), plus how multiple payments during a month are applied to your loan (they must be applied as soon as received for this to work). Most loans work this way, but not all.
There are two options with making early payments.
First, Paul can literally make two payments a month – say, on the fifteenth of every month and on the last day of every month. This means, over the course of a year, Paul pays the exact same amount in principle that he would otherwise pay. The only difference is that on the fifteenth of each month, he pays in half of his payment and at the end of each month, he pays in the remainder of his payment.
In my calculations in Excel, I assumed monthly compounding using the average balance of the last month. Using this method, I calculate that this method will save Paul just over two months’ worth of balance on the mortgage. He’d save $2,931.33 in interest, which would mean he would be able to skip his final two payments and make only a partial final payment.
However, a superior method of doing this would be to simply make a payment equal to half of the amount of the monthly mortgage bill every two weeks. Over the course of a year, this adds up to one extra full payment: since there are fifty two weeks in a year, you’d make 26 half payments, and thus 13 full payments.
In my calculations, I again assumed monthly compounding using the average balance of the last month. I calculated that this method will save Paul $41,117.09 over the course of the loan. His final, partial payment would be issued just shy of five years early.
This method falls perfectly in line with many income schedules (the federal government, for example, issues paychecks every two weeks), which means that you can just allot a certain amount from each paycheck directly toward your mortgage and then not think about it again.
For me, at least, twice-a-month payments would not provide enough benefit to be worth the management hassle of them unless it happened to line up directly with my paychecks.
On the other hand, biweekly payments – once every two weeks – do provide a lot of financial incentive to give them a shot. Add on top of that the fact that it’s directly in line with many pay schedules and that would seem to be a winner to me.
In a nutshell, simply paying twice a month doesn’t save much at all, but paying once every two weeks saves a lot. Yes, one or two fewer days per payment can save you tens of thousands at the end of the payments.
Good luck.
